What I need is to sleep through the next 2 months and wake up in January. I need to learn how to love my body even though it’s done nothing but betray me in my most vulnerable moments. I need nurses to stop stroking my face and calling me sweetie like I’m a child with a booboo. I need to stop hearing babies cry when I’m in the next room having my dreams ripped away from me. Again. I need to accept that I’ll never understand why life has been so viciously unkind, because there is no reason for it. It just is. I need to be loved and left alone. I need to honor my grief and lean into it, even the anger, where I spend the most time, unapologetically. I need to continue to share my story for me and for anyone who needs it before it consumes me like a black hole of despair. I will share my full story, but in the meantime, I will do whatever the fuck it takes to survive.
“As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything... and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.”
tfw you are the most qualified and preferred candidate 🚨by 3 million votes🚨 but they put an unstable narcissistic racist sexual predator in a spray tanned roasted turkey costume in the White House instead 🙃 well, happy birthday Hillary! 🎉😘 #butheremails
🌝 sunday night feelings ✨
I haven’t had a lot of time or energy lately to devote to anything outside of basic self-care. I want to create something every day and I try to force it but get frustrated. A good reminder to honor who + where you are now and take care of your needs. I am. 💓 #standinyourtruth
October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day 🕯🕯🕯🕯
To all the moms with empty arms and aching hearts, I see you. Your story and your pain are important. I know that you may suffer in silence because it feels shameful, because no matter how well you try to describe the pain, no one outside of this tribe could ever begin to understand how deep it goes... how it can knock you down and pull you under water when you least expect it, weeks, months, years later.
I see you and I encourage you to share your story. Together we lift the stigma, teach people what are and are not appropriate responses, create empathy and a safe society for women grieving miscarriage and baby loss.
💓 #pregnancyandinfantloss #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyandinfantlossremembranceday
believe women, trust women. stop declaring your disgust for sexual predators because you have daughters and sisters and mothers. be disgusted by sexual predators because they are disgusting, vile human beings who should rot in prison. oh and p.s. I know this may be new information to some of you men but women are people. 💘 #believewomen
20 week abortion ban going to the Senate. This isn’t pro-life, it’s anti-choice, pure misogyny.
Terminations needed after 20 weeks are complex and happen under severe health circumstances. No woman would choose it if she didn’t absolutely HAVE to. It’s not for funsies, it’s traumatic and results in a lifetime of grief and pain, a never ending path to healing.
Adding a criminal barrier to that option is pure evil, anything but “Christ like” for you fake ass Christians. Choke on your abortion ban, ignorant misogynists. #resist
The NRA is a domestic terrorist organization. If you are anti gun control, you are pro mass shootings. There is no gray area. Also your thoughts and prayers are trash. Contact your senators. #guncontrol #guncontrolnow
does this offend you? at least i censored the dirty word. this racist turd in a toupee threw a fit on twitter like a 12 year old brat while people in Puerto Rico are literally begging for their lives. If you support that behavior, have a great time keeping your president company in hell. #ITMFA #fucktrump